Achievement Unlocked: Slush Pile

For the first time in about two years, the slush piles for both Mirror Dance and Lacuna are completely empty. Done. Answered. De-slushed. If  I didn't see the empty folders with my own eyes, I wouldn't believe it was possible.

Quick, somebody submit something to Mirror Dance before the rush of accomplishment goes to my head!

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Thursday, March 28, 2013

editing, Lacuna, Mirror Dance, No Exit

Roses in December

The Winter 2011 issue of Mirror Dance came out this morning. We have some lovely retold fairy tales, surprising takes on folklore, entirely original pieces, and an insightful interview with Mike Phillips. I'm particularly pleased with the poetry in this issue, so be sure you check it out!

My pseudo-Jamesian secondary-world ghost story "The Gardens of Landler Abbey" appears in today's issue of Beneath Ceaseless Skies, and the very queer "Portrait of a Courtesan" appears in Crossed Genre's final issue. As a bibliographic note, "Landler Abbey" is my most recently finished story, having been drafted, edited, and submitted this September. Make of that what you will.

In other news, please think positive thoughts for my mother and aunt, who lost their beloved mother (my wonderful and elegant grandmother) on Saturday.

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Thursday, December 01, 2011

Beneath Ceaseless Skies, editing, ghost story, Mirror Dance, No Exit, publishing, queer fiction, short fiction

You win some, you misplace some...

Wins: Finished edits on story. Sick family member home from the hospital (though sometimes--like, at three o'clock in the morning--this is not a good thing). Lots of work done on next Mirror Dance issue.

Misplaces: Page 19 in my proof of Crimethink. So it's back to the format stage of format, submit, order, proof. I wanted to have this done by the end of August, but that's looking a little less likely now.

Also, the coloring for the cover turned out much darker than expected. I haven't decided if this is a problem or kind of creepy-cool.

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Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Crimethink, Mirror Dance, No Exit, revising

The View From My Window

I have never been good at _________ honestly.

Fill in that blank with whatever verb you wish. Speaking. Writing. Blogging. Especially blogging. I am by nature a private person, and that’s been reinforced by insecurity in the face of the all-knowing Internet, where your every factual error can be dissected across eight time zones in eight seconds. I have been afraid of offending people, I have been afraid of breaking some unspoken law of blogging—and so I have been vague, two-dimensional. Dishonest.

Four years ago, when I was in high school, I wrote a novelette called “For a Breath of Fresh Air.” It remains one of the most autobiographical things I have written. The opening scene takes place in the study of a mansion overlooking a mental hospital. That mansion is real, and that mental hospital is real. And as I type this, someone I love is in that mental hospital.

I have never been good at talking about mental illness honestly.

Four years ago, putting the words “manic depression” in a notebook, in a piece of fiction, was one of the bravest things I ever did. My understanding of bipolar disorder was—still is—woefully inadequate. All I knew was that it was terrifying to live with, terrifying to talk to, terrifying to watch. It is about unpredictability, about spending every hour of every day in a state of dread because you don’t know what the person you love will do next. It is about throwing yourself into your writing, your make-believe, because that is a place where you have some measure of control. It is about reading a list of panic-attack symptoms when you are sixteen and saying oh, that’s what that is.

It is about learning not to speak honestly. To say “I’m late because of a family emergency” when you mean “I’m late because I’ve been tramping through a swamp for two hours, looking for a missing person.” To say “I guess I didn’t have time to read that chapter” when you mean “I read that chapter three times, but I was thinking about the scary things someone said to me this morning and that’s all I’ve been able to remember.” To say “My life is on hold for a little bit” when you mean “Someone I love attempted suicide.”

So here I am, trying to blog honestly.

I am reading submissions to Mirror Dance and Lacuna as quickly as I can, but some days I can’t get to the computer because I am tramping through a swamp or talking to police or visiting someone in a hospital. I owe stories to several fabulous magazines, but I haven’t written anything decent since April, for the last month I haven’t put pen to paper at all. I have an unedited short story sitting on my hard drive that I can’t look at because it takes place in a mental hospital, and that’s one place I’ve seen too damn much of recently.

So there, all-knowing Internet, is what the inside of my head looks like. I have probably broken several unspoken laws of the internet. I have certainly broken several laws of good writing. I really don’t care. I have done what I set out to do in this post, and now I can get back to work. I feel good right now.

Honestly.

ETA: For those of you worried about my own well being, rest assured that I am not as angry, sad, or scared as this post probably made me seem. I am very, very frustrated, but typing this out--getting the inner monologue out of my brain and onto the page--has helped tremendously. Now, seriously, time to get back to work.

Thank you for listening.

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Wednesday, August 11, 2010

honesty, No Exit

Life - On Hold

If you have a story in the Mirror Dance or Lacuna slush pile that I have not responded to yet, please don't hold your breath for a response.

Crimethink is almost ready to go to the printers, but please don't hold your breath to get a copy.

If I owe you edits/a story/a book review for your magazine, please don't hold your breath.

And please send good and happy thoughts in the direction of me and my family. We need all of them we can get.

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Tuesday, August 03, 2010

Crimethink, Lacuna, Mirror Dance, No Exit, updates